GOVALGOH.TUMBLR.COM

I'm still picking up the pieces of what's left of me. Each time I try to push it aside, my emptiness deepens further. What in the world came over me to actually think that everything that I believed in was not a lie? Everytime my heart dictates my life, I crumble to pieces. I let myself crash and burn. People ask me how I can remain so composed even when I'm screaming on the inside. Honestly, each morning I get up, I die a little, dying from the way I let this hate and sorrow eat into my soul. 

Dearest, I really really cared and you just failed to see it. I was so stupid to think that I was a fighter. Sometimes I wonder even though we know we shouldn’t love certain people, we do and always will. Because there are just some people in this world who will get us for reasons we can’t explain, even when they shouldn’t.

No matter how long it takes, it will get better. No matter how many tears fall there will always be a time when your eyes stop crying and your eyes start shining again. Just know that everything will be all right no matter what you, he or she thinks. Because life is nothing but a big elastic band. Stretched to one end, it will always bounce back to the beginning, in the end.

I'm going to be a no life and stay at home to study. After the exams I'm not I repeat I'm not going to go for tuition on the weekends. I'm gonna have fun after this 2 weeks are over. Fkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. I wanna go out study also cannot. WTFZXZXZXZXZ. It's just gonna get worse. Bleah.

I need to go shopping. I just cleared a ton of old clothes and I realised I need alot more. Mommy promised me shoppingafter the exams. Cant wait. I want to go shopping with my mommy. She's the best shopping buddy in the world. She pays for everything and she's honest about how ugly/pretty the clothes are. Yay.

I keep to eating to stay awake. Stupid fever. Stupid exams. Stupid life.

I'm fucking annoyed now so stop all this fucking bullshit. Fml. I don't like random pairings with people who I obviously am just friends with. It's delusional please.

And stop fucking pissing the shit out of me. You're so damn full of yourself. People are dying in the world and all you can do is complain about minor stuff. Just relax la! Life isn't as hard as you perceive it to be. Stop living in a bubble. Go out into the real world and see what is it like. If you can't take this shit, you can't survive out there. It's a cruel world so toughen up a little for goodness sake. Don't think symphaty is a good thing. It's just pathetic.

Don't make me think you are such a no life.

I'm going to study my ass off and not give a fuck about all this drama. Act pretend and lie in my face. I see right through you.

THIS TIME BABY, I'LL BE BULLETPROOF.

I'm going to suck it up and pretend like I don't give a damn.

Honestly, if it were not for my mom, I wouldnt be at home right now.

10 things I would do if my mom didn't bother about me

1. Get a tattoo. Call me crazy whatever.
2. Talk on the phone whenever I like and how long I like
3. Buy more heels cause my mom claims I look like a transvestite when I wear heels. Apparently, I'm nearly 180cm when i wear heels.
4. Go out EVERY friday night.
5. Get a job. I have a strange mom, She doesn't like me to work.
6. Pierce my navel. I've been waiting for 3 years already. Wtf.
7. Go clubbing.
8. Skip school whenever i like. P.S I like going to school so I won't skip that much.
9. Get a gay best friend. LOL.
10. Shop like crazy. :D

Hahaha. Even though my mom doesn't let me do all those right now, I know she just doesn't want me to lose control. She will let me do all those things eventually. I love you mommy. Thanks for spoiling me and giving NEARLY everything I want. Thanks for letting me complain to you all the time. I promise I'll study hard now. I won't do drugs. I won't smoke. I won't going gangs. I won't be a disgrace to you.

HOWEVER, YOU MUST LET ME SHOP MORE LEH. HAHAHAHAHAH. C:

XOXO, your crazy daughter.

Mon:

Teachers day + Be yourself day. (:

Today:

CIP AT SIMEI CARE CENTRE.

I look damn shag and ghostly this past few days. Gosh.

And my dear zhidan. It may be a really hard time for you right and I understand life seems to have come to a halt. However, just to let you know, we, all of your friends, are here to add some colour into this dark period okay. Love you.

I always tell myself to blog but piggy me hates to do so.

Met clara today. No peektures cause I forgot to charge my lumix. Stoopid me. Hahaha. Had great fun with her. Lunch + Starbucks + Good ol' gossip. Whats not to love? (:

And tsk tsk didnt mama tell you to never lie my dear? (: